Starting Over - Exciting or Scary?

“Accepting what you cannot change” is a wise time management and organizational strategy, allowing us to focus our time and problem-solving skills on those things we can change and working with those things that are unchangeable – at least not without significant effort that has little or no benefit. Practicing “hopeful pessimism” is an effective strategy to avoid biting disappointment. If we assume that we will always be successful, that things will always go our way, even with much planning and effort, sometimes they do not work out as planned. So, Jarvis recommends that we learn to become “hopefully pessimistic” so that when we are successful we can be truly grateful and humble to be so blessed. When concerns pile up, Jarvis recommends that students make a list of all the things bothering them, then group them into three smaller lists: items they cannot change and need to manage, items that must be addressed, and items that might be addressed if there is time or eliminated if there is no time. Finally, Jarvis believes that students need to have an active prayer life, so that students learn to “pray from the heart.” Genuine prayer helps us to recognize our vocation in life and leads to our sense of satisfaction and true happiness.

I found these thoughts to be sound advise to share with our students as we begin our new school year. Then, I begin to read, “Great by Choice,” a new book by Jim Collins, author of “Good to Great,” a member of the Stanford Graduate School of Business faculty, and the founder and head of a management lab in Boulder, Colorado. In his book, he talks about “10xers” – people who built their own enterprises that surpassed the average growth rate in their fields of business by at least 10 times. He wanted to know if there were common characteristics shared by these high-achieving people who were successful in a variety of careers. He discovered three common characteristics:

1. Fantastic discipline;

2. Empirical creativity; and

3. Productive paranoia.

Collins defines discipline as “mental independence,” the ability to remain focused in spite of the pressures and surrounding environment. Empirical creativity gives those who succeed confidence in their decisions, since their decisions are based on data and empirical evidence. Productive paranoia allows successful people to predict worst-case scenarios and prepare for them, so that when challenges and setbacks occur, these people have strategies to manage them without losing focus on their work.

I found it interesting to compare Collins’ list of traits of 10xers with Jarvis’ list of recommendations to manage pressure. I think there is a correlation:

Accepting what you cannot change = Fantastic discipline

Hopeful pessimism = Productive paranoia

Inventory your worries = Empirical creativity

Jarvis adds a fourth, “Offer up your concerns in prayer,” which I believe may be the most important piece of advice for our students and gives purpose to the other three. It also distinguishes “hollow successes” from “meaningful successes.” As a Catholic Christian community, we at Archmere Academy consider an active prayer life a critical key to managing the stresses and pressures of life. Prayer is time well-spent in meaningful dialog with God so that we begin to know ourselves, what makes us happy, and how we are to serve others in our work. As we begin this school year, it might be helpful for all of us to reflect on these strategies and pieces of advice from two highly successful and well-respected professionals from very different career experiences. Perhaps we can ask ourselves which of those attributes on Collins’ list are our best and which do we need to improve, or which strategies on Jarvis’ list have we used and which might be helpful to consider for ourselves and, as parents, for our children. My hope is that together in prayer we begin a new school year with the support we need to make it an exciting rather than scary experience.